Fr. JC Maximilian

I would like to ask the readers of this blog to say a prayer for my sister, Ann Marie (pictured above in Hawaii).  One of the family issues that we have been facing since the beginning of Lent this year, is that Ann was diagnosed with a brain tumor (I cannot discuss the other family issue).

Ann lives in St. Louis with her husband, Kevin, and their for children, Paddy, Brigit, Deirdre and Declan (pictured below,  their 2005 St. Patrick’s picture)

Ann is a pediatrician, and she had a very bad migraine in January which led to her going for a scan which revealed a small tumor, on the surface of the brain.  Her neurosurgeon was pretty sure that it was benign, so they did not rush to have surgery.  The surgery was today.  My mother flew out to St. Louis on Sunday, and she just called to say that Ann is out of surgery.  They could not get all of the tumor out (they “left the tail”) because it was “feeding” from a major blood vessel.  We are still waiting to hear the pathology report.

Please pray that Ann will have a complete recovery, and will be able to get back to work and fun with her family soon.  I even shaved my head in solidarity with Ann (although they did not need to shave all of her head).  Also, pray from my other family issue, which I cannot share with you just now.

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Please keep in your prayers the repose of the soul of Julie Fedak Walker, and for the the consolation of her family.

Julie and her family lived around the corner from my family when we were kids. Julie and her sister, Kathleen, were about the same age as my oldest two sisters, Ann and Jen, so the four of them played together a lot (Julie’s brother, Bobby, was a bit too young for me to play with). The Fedaks and the Garretts did a lot of things together, with the parents being friends as well. They became part of our “family. Even after the Fedaks moved, we kept in touch with them, visiting them, getting together for the big events, like graduations.

Julie had some challenges when she was a teenager, and early 20s, but she was always a very happy and friendly person. She loved her family very much, Kathleen was her best friend as well as sister. Julie has two children; both minors. Apparently she suffered a massive heart attack on Tuesday night, and died. She was only 41. Needless to say, it was a tremendous shock to everyone.

Pray that all who loved her will draw close to the Lord in this time of grief, relying on His strength, and trusting in His mercy.

[The reason for the purple butterfly above, is because Julie loved the color purple, and she collected butterflies.  She thought that butterflies reflected her carefree personality.]

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The above picture is my mother and father bringing up the gifts at my ordination Mass, in May 2004.  It is one of my favorite pictures of my parents, and my father.  For those who do not know, my father (John S. Garrett) passed away in December 2005.  I still miss him.

For all the fathers out there, living and deceased, biological and spiritual, I wish you a very happy Fathers’ Day.  I also ask God, our Heavenly Father, to bless you abundantly with His love.

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Today is a double birthday celebration in my family. First, today would have been my father’s 70th birthday. My youngest sister, Mary, was born on my Dad’s 32nd birthday, which led Dad to say he was “32+Mary”. The picture is the last one I have of Mary and my Dad. The younger girl is my niece Sydney, Mary’s daughter, then Mary, and Mom standing behind the chair. It is not a good picture of Dad; I don’t remember why he was making a face. It was taken around Thanksgiving, 2005. Dad died a few weeks later of cancer.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD AND MARY! I love you.

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I guess for someone who just came home from vacation, I really should not be feeling like today’s reading from the Book of Job in which he laments the day he was born, but I really think that I am the Born-Loser.

I came back from my cruise to Alaska to be faced with a lot of issues concerning my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob is my father’s older brother. While he is only 70, he has a lot of medical problems, and my parents really allowed him the illusion of independence the five years after my grandmother (with whom Uncle Bob lived) died. With my father’s illness last fall, and then his death, I promised my dad that I would look after Uncle Bob, and became his power-of-attorney. Uncle Bob agreed to move into assisted living, last February, so I thought that things would become much easier for Mom and I. How wrong I was. While I helped Mom as much as I could, Mom really was the one who cleaned out Uncle Bob’s house to get it ready to be sold. But we did sell it pretty quick, so we thought it would just be visiting Unlce Bob.

I did not realize that assisted living really means, “pay $111/day, but we don’t help him with really anything.” He seems to have constant doctor appointments, and we have to take him (mostly Mom). They call to complain regularly (Uncle Bob is hard of hearing, so they find his TV/radio too loud).

At the end of August Uncle Bob seemed to take a turn for the worse. He fell at 4 a.m., and needed 7 staples in the top of his head. A week later he fell again, this time breaking his ankle. He had surgery on Labor Day for that, and then got transferred to a rehab hospital attached to the assisted living and nursing home facility he is at. That first weekend I thought he was going to die. He was so out of it; I had to go up to feed him one night. Mom has been doing his laundry. It turned out he had pneumonia. He is better now, but he is not improving in rehab as much as he should. It seems as if he has no motivation.

They really cannot keep him in rehab much longer, and the assisted living place will not take him back because he needs too much help with everything (but we are still paying $111/day). I thought it would be an automatic “step up” to the nursing home, but they have no beds, and do not expect one for 2-3 months. So they want us to move him to another nursing home until he can get into the one there. I think if he is never going to get back to the level where he can function in assisted living, we should just find a permanent nursing home placement. They want me to fill out the paperwork ASAP, but they do not call back to tell me what they think his long term prognosis is.

Today I have been mostly doing Uncle Bob’s paperwork and banking (the real annoyance is that the application for the nursing home is the same, just check a different box, as the one that I completed to get him into assisted living, but they needed a new application anyway). Mom met him at the dentist; oh yeah, all of his upper teeth are falling out. Mom has been running all day for him too. This has not been a great way to come back from vacation.

I will try to find time to write about the cruise to Alaska; it was very beautiful. I was the chaplain onboard, which had some cool things too. I did read a fantastic book, With God In Russia, the story of Fr. Walter Ciszek, S.J. Read it if you have not yet.

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I would like to ask everyone who checks this blog to pray for my mother. She is part of a group who left today for Medjugorje. While I don’t think we are allowed to have official pilgrimmages there, she is traveling with a group of spiritual people. My concern is not with Medjugorje, but with all the craziness that has gone on in England with the terrorists. Mom called me early this morning, rather nervous about her trip. Ask our Lady to pray for them all.

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(Above are pictures of the two Young Theologians I am heading off to visit. They are my niece and nephew, with my sister and Dad. In the post below I did not use their real names.)

Tomorrow, after celebrating the 8 a.m. Mass at St. Anthony’s, I take off for St. Louis, MO. Apparently I will be participating in the “Council of Chesterfield,” LOL. Actually my sister, her husband and their four kids live out there (Chesterfield is a suburb of St. Louis), and my brother-in-law’s nephew is getting married, and they want me to do the wedding. However, I have been warned that I best be prepared to delve into the depths of theology. Let me explain…

As I mentioned, my sister and her husband have four children; the youngest two, whom I will call Clare, age 5, and Francis, soon to be 4, apparently engaged in theological debate the other day as my sister was driving them home from daycare (while the niece and nephew are real, the names are not, to protect the innocent). Francis was holding firm to the position that there were two Jesuses: the baby Jesus and the man Jesus. Clare was passionate in trying to convert him to the orthodox position that there was in fact only one Jesus; that the baby Jesus grew up into the man Jesus. I did not hear if Francis recanted his heresy, but of course I pray he has; afterall I baptized him. Then Clare made an interesting, albeit puzzling, theological observation. She declared that St. Joseph was a carrier. My sister, who is a pediatrician, was quite interested in this proclamation and inquired as to what St. Joseph was carrying (she feared it might be TB, the plague, or Avian flu). Alas, Clare explained that he was carrying the big stick with the curved top. The full significance of this theological insight is yet to be completely explored (I am told that the great Swiss theologian, Fr. Hans Urs von Balthasar was sketching the outline of a book on the topic, as part of his homily after being named a Cardinal, when the Lord called him home). Then round two of the Council openned when Clare declared that God was dead (though not in the sense that Neitchze declared Him dead). Francis, filled with the Holy Spirit, strongly proclaimed God alive, but Clare wished to explain her position. Her reasoning was very simple; since Grandpa (my dad) was dead, and she was told that Grandpa was with God, then clearly God must also be dead. At this point my sister, an amateur logician, intervened and tried to explain that God was alive, that He always was, is, and will be. To which Clare asked, “So, is God and Grandpa undead?” I think that was when a recess was called, largely because my sister was laughing so hard, that all she could say was “Wait until Uncle JC gets here, he’s a priest.” So, I am off to finish my laundry and pack my Summa Theologica; St. Thomas give me strength!

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Mom and Dad bringing up the gifts at my ordination
Originally uploaded by frjcmaximilian.

My father, John S. Garrett, died this evening of cancer. He was 68 years old, and married to my mother for 42 years. He was one of the first Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion at our parish, serving as one for about 30 years, not only at Mass but also taking Communion to those in the hospital. After his retirement, about 15 years ago, he went to Mass nearly every day. He was very active in the Knights of Columbus; serving at three separate times as Grand Knight, and once as Faithful Navigator.

My sister Mary and her daughter Sydney drove up from NC last night, and my sister Ann arrived from St. Louis this afternoon and went straight to the hospital. Apparently Dad was a bit more responsive this morning; answering “yes/no” questions, and telling people he loved them.

I was on duty at the parish today, so I had several shut-ins who called wanting to go to Confession before Christmas. I arrived at Dad’s hospice room a little after 3 p.m. this afternoon. Mom and Sydney had stepped out for a bit, so it was Ann, Mary and me. When Mom and Sydney got back, about 4 p.m., I celebrated Mass in my Dad’s room, giving him Viaticum, a final anointing, and the Apostolic Pardon. I stayed talking with my family, sharing stories of Dad, until 6:15 p.m., and then I headed back to the parish to attend the pre-school Christmas show. I was just about back to the parish when my sister Mary called to say that Dad had just died, at around 6:30 p.m.

I went back to the hospital. All my sisters, my brother-in-law Ed, my nieces Sydney and Moira, and nephew Liam were there with my Mom. Mom was holding up pretty well. When I hugged her I just started crying. My sisters were all crying, as was Sydney. I don’t think Liam and Moira fully understood what was going on, although Liam seemed to a bit more. Of course we were calling a lot of people to let them know, and to activate the various “prayer trees.” Ann told me that she had a premonition during Mass that Dad was going to die that night; see the Gospel today was the account of the Annunciation and Dad was born on the Solemnity of the Annunciation. After spending about an hour at the hospice with Dad’s body, we went to Uncle Bob’s to tell him. He handled the news of his brother’s death pretty well. He said that he was glad that Dad was no longer suffering, and that he was now at peace.

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This week has been most interesting, and next week is going to be even busier because I am moving.

As I have mentioned, my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer in October and I have been helping my mother care for him, as well as helping my uncle make the move to assisted living. Between dad’s daily radiation treatment and other doctor appointments, and the overwhelming amount of paperwork I have to go through to complete my uncle’s application for assisted-living, my day off has been completely consumed. My pastor, and the other priests with whom I live, have been terrific, especially in allowing me more time off to get this family stuff done. However the hour drive each way just to get home has just added to already long days (keep in mind, it has just been a year since I, myself, was diagnosed with thyroid cancer).

This past Tuesday, after doing a lot of running with my uncle, and helping my mother with dad, (and after a lot of prayer), I decided to call my bishop to see if I could meet with him. His secretary set up an appointment for me for yesterday (Thursday). About a half hour after doing that my pastor called me to tell me that he had heard from the bishop (before my call) that another priest was being sent to St. James. In that I saw divine providence that I was doing the right thing, for if I requested a transfer closer to home I would not be leaving St. James short.

My meeting with Bishop Smith yesterday was very good. He was very understanding, supportive and pastoral. He said that he would arrange a transfer. Today I received a call from the director of priest personnel, and I will be transferred to Our Lady of Sorrows-St. Anthony Parish, starting next Friday, Dec. 9 (the 1 year anniversary of my second cancer surgery). It is a wonderful place to be sent; adjacent to my parents’ parish, and actually my uncle’s parish. I was baptized in St. Anthony’s 41 years ago this week. The pastor there is very good. I will have a lot of packing to do, and notifications to make, but God has blessed me.

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I know that I have been very quiet here on my blog, and I fear that I may have lost some of the readers of the blog. Things have just been very hectic in my life right now, and with the many things that I have to get done, there really has not been much time for blogging. However, I did publish my homily for the 1st Sunday of Advent, below.

As I mentioned in a previous post, my father has become quite ill with terminal lung cancer. It has spread throughout much of his body. It came on very quickly (first diagnosed in October), so the mere fact of the illness, let alone the advance stage of it, still has my family reeling abit.

My pastor is a big-hearted man, and he basically gave me the last two weeks off to be with my family. I came back for the weekend Mass. Of course the other two priests at the parish are equally generous and flexible, covering extra weekday Masses, and even hospital duty. My brother priests are truly a blessing for which I am extremely thankful.

The past two weeks has been a lot of time in the hospital, and then when dad was released, taking him daily for radiation (chemo is just once a week). My father started attending daily Mass with my mother about 15 years ago, after he retired, so one of the hardships that he has been struggling with has been not being allowed to go to Mass (he cannot be in big crowds because his treatment has lowered his immune system). Therefore it has been a true joy for him for me to say Mass for him and my mother, mostly at home, but even once in the hospital.

I have also been doing a lot of paperwork, assisting my uncle get into an assisted-living facility. We’re not finished with that yet, but almost. That situation is also a stress. I know that my uncle really does not want to go, but he knows that he cannot take care of himself alone, and now my parents really are not able to assist him as they once did. Also he is struggling with the fact of my dad’s illness as much as any of us. Dad is his YOUNGER brother, and the only family he has left (well, besides my sisters and I, an elderly aunt, and a few cousins).

I am back in the parish now, though I still do not think I will be posting as much. Hopefully at least once a week. I hope that you will “stay tuned.” If I figure out how to set the RSS status, you can get a heads up when I post again. Have a blessed Advent.

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