A Rite of Cremation?
Last week I had a funeral. Nothing unusual about that, we do about 150 funerals a year at this parish (yes, that’s a lot). The funeral sheet I received informed me that the person was being cremated after the funeral Mass, so there would be no committal immediately afterwards. While this is not typical, it is actually the preferred way according to the Church.
As you know, for a long time the Catholic Church held a very dim view on cremation. The reason is that we do not believe that the body is an empty shell that houses the soul/spirit. To believe that leads to the error of dualism, and in the history of the Church we have had a lot of problems with heretics who believed in a dualism of some sort or another. The basis of the Church’s belief is found in the Prologue of St. John’s Gospel, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” Jesus was incarnate and that means an awful lot. It means that our bodies are not junk that we can do whatever we want with, and that we will just discard when we are finished with them. As we proclaim in the Creed, we believe that our body and soul will be reunited for all eternity at the end of time (hopefully in Paradise). The body is a sacred thing, especially when it has been baptized.
The instructions in the Order of Christian Funerals makes this clear; “Although cremation is now permitted by the Church, it does not enjoy the same value as burial of the body. The Church clearly prefers and urges that the body of the deceased be present for the funeral rites, since the presence of the human body better expresses the values which the Church affirms in those rites” (#413). The Code of Canon Law, 1983 goes further by saying that cremation is only permitted when it is not inspired by motives contrary to Christian teaching, namely thinking that the body is unimportant or even bad (canon 1176, s 3).
Many of the priests that I know have mentioned that they wish that the Church had never permitted cremation because many of the Faithful really do not understand the Church’s teaching, and they do not want to take the time to understand. Too often people just want to do what is easiest and fastest. Part of this is due to their grief, undoubtedly, but it is also motivated by less than Christian reasons. In my State there is even a company that describes itself as something like, “Direct Cremation.” They pick up the body, cremate it, and then mail it where ever the family wants. At one parish I was at (as a deacon), we received a package which turned out to be “Fred” (fictitious name to protect the innocent and guilty). The secretary didn’t know what to do with “Fred” so she placed him on the safe until the day of his funeral, and Father had to carry “Fred” over to the church himself. Clearly “Fred’s” body was not treated with the dignity and respect that the Church wants (the priest was quite upset when he found out what it was he had to carry over to the church because he thought it was disrespectful). I had the experience of being asked if it was OK to bury the remains (cremains they often call them) at sea. I did the research as to the proper means for doing this in a dignified manner (they cannot be scattered, but must be dropped as a whole) as quickly as possible, and got back to the family within 2 hours of their request, only to be told, “that’s OK, we just rented a boat and threw them into the ocean). Again quoting from the Order of Christian Funerals, “The cremated remains of a body should be treated with the same respect given to the human body from which they come…. The cremated remains should be buried in a grave or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium. The practice of scattering cremated remains on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or keeping cremated remains in the home of a relative or friend of the deceased are not the reverent disposition that the Church requires” (#417).
Even after the Church permitted cremation, it was more than a decade later before they allowed diocesan bishops to give permission to have the cremated remains in the church for the funeral Mass or service. Clearly the preference of the Church is to have the body in the church, and then to bury or entomb the body. Next in preference is to have the body in the church, then cremate it, and finally bury or entomb the cremated remains. It is the last choice, while permitted it is CLEARLY NOT preferred, to cremate the body, then bring the remains to the church for the liturgy, and finally have the remains buried or entombed. For some reason, when the body is going to be cremated, 90% of the times (or more) the least preferred option is chosen.
Getting back to the funeral last week, the family had chosen the preferred option for when the body is going to be cremated. They brought the woman’s body to the church for the funeral Mass, and after cremation, they were having her remains buried at a veterans cemetery in a different county, but they had arranged for a priest or deacon from there to do the committal a few days after the funeral Mass, after the cremation was finished. The unusual thing was they wanted me to go to the crematory. The part that irked me was, that despite knowing this for a couple of days, no one from the funeral home or from our office told me. I do not like having things sprung on me at the last minute; especially if it has anything to do with the liturgy of the Church. I do not believe we should be “creative” with the Church’s liturgy; it is a gift that Holy Mother Church gives us. However, with notice, I guess I could have come up with some prayers to say, but at the last minute I had nothing, so I told the funeral director to inform the body that I would say all the prayers at the church during the Mass, and that the other priest/deacon would say the prayers of committal. That there were no prayers to be said at the crematory. Again, I think that if the family were told this when they made their request a few days early, they would have accepted it more.
But it got me thinking, what could I say at the crematory? Now, if you know me you know that I can have a very sarcastic sense of humor. I work very hard to suppress it, and I most certainly do NOT think of it as virtuous. Yet it can be funny at times. Of course I did NOT say this to the family or even the funeral director, but later, that sarcastic jokester in me started to think of a prayer for before cremation, “Heavenly Father, we pray for our brother/sister, N. We pray that the flames that s/he are about to be cast into are the only flames that N. will encounter, and that N. will not encounter the eternal flames of Hell….” I’m guessing that the family would not care for such a prayer.
One of my priest friends, with whom I shared this terrible, sarcastic prayer, laughed, and suggested that I compose a Rite Prior to Cremation. Any suggestions?
